This article might become a bit personal. If you are unsure about reading this post, just ignore it. Another post will come soon. If you would like to know a bit more about me, this article will have it. Trust me. I put a lot of emotions in this article, but for me, it is something I need to write.
This past year has been pretty hectic. I am ready to see what 2016 brings me, but that is still 3 more months away. At the beginning of the year, everything was going well. I was planning a wedding, my wedding. However, bad news had to follow. I lost my job in April. It took a hit on me. I was working at that job for over a year. It was my main reason for moving to the small town where my husband lives. I was hoping to stay there for quite a while till bills, debt, and everything else was covered and smoothed out. I guess my luck just wasn’t with me.
My husband was very supportive. He told me to try to find a job. If not, my unemployeement was enough to help, but after that even his job was enough. He still wanted to marry me and start a family. May I visit my family quite a bit and finished a lot of the planning for the wedding. We got married on Jume 6th 2015. Our honeymoon was in Hawaii. The wedding was everything I wanted. I surprised him, but he surprised me the most. I always see brides and grooms get seperated during the reception trying to find each other. My husband never left my side. He was glad to be married to me. I wish I could show you some pictures, but this article isn’t really about the wedding. Just about the events.
Our honeymoon was just as amazing. We stayed in a five star resort with a private lagoon. I was able to swim with the dolphins and just enjoy being on the island with him. I’ve been to Hawaii before, but it felt different to be there with my husband. I so want to return, but I want to visit a different island. I could tell when we returned back, he wanted to do the same thing.
Now the hard part. Besides getting married because we wanted to live the rest of our lives together, we also wanted to have a family. We first decided to expand our family by getting another puppy. Her name is Roxy and she is 9 weeks old. A little terror, but we love her. Lucky loves her the most, always watching her and licking her. Occasionally, he wants some space, but that is fine. He is almost 6 years old.
What we didn’t expect is that we were going to be expanding our family again. We were trying, but at the same time, we knew that if it didn’t happen yet, we were okay with it. When it comes, it comes. Well, on September 1st I found out I was pregnant. We figured I was about 4.5 weeks along. We made our first appointment for next week. That is when disaster struck. I was having abdominal pain for a couple of days before it happen. On Friday, September 4th, I lost the baby. I had a miscarriage. It struck me hard. I really never expected something like that to happen to me. I read about it in articles, saw people talk about it on YouTube, but I really never thought it would happen to me. However, it did. I went to the doctor that day, and the results came back. For the longest part of that morning, I really thought I was dreaming, that I wasn’t pregnant. However, my blood work showed proof. I was pregnant. Recovering is the hardest. I keep thinking of the ‘what ifs’. However, I know that I cannot dwell in the past. I need to keep moving on. We will eventually try again, but at the moment, I am too scared. I don’t want to lose another baby.
I am not asking for anything sympathy. I am just writing out my emotions. This blog is my place to write when I cannot speak the words I want to say. If you read this entry, thank you. As I did on my main domain, I am also putting this journal on a short hiatus. I really need to concentrate on myself right now. I will still work in the background, but as of right now, I just need time. I will write again when I return. Till next time!
A Big Change
I know I usually try to keep up with my blog posts and such, especially since I want to bring more than just personal. However, after my previous post that happen back in April, a lot of things have changed, and I had a huge adjustment to deal with it. Turns out, that after the minor disasters, things did turn out better, and there is still hope for the future. After all, in just a little over a week, I am getting married. I promise to bring more updates about the huge day and our honeymoon which happen to be a bigger surprise to me.
After losing my job, I thought it was going to take forever for me to find a new job. I took out my resume and cover letters to all possible job opportunities believing that I might have a chance. Over a month and half, I had no luck. However, a job offer did come through. In a little way it was because of my resume, but after speaking with my new manager, not really. She knew that because I had a Bachelor’s Degree, I deserved a higher paying job, but was unable to offer me that at the position she was giving me. The position that I did receive wasn’t even available. After friendly conversations, somehow that position became open. The reason for the job offer came from my web designing experience. The company is wanting me to redo their website which I happily agreed. Finally another business wanting my business for web designing.
As of the big surprise on the honeymoon, we booked a trip to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii in 2006, and always wanted to return. However, the cost of flying from Kansas to Hawaii is pretty expensive. We orginally want to do a Sandals honeymoon, but we took too long on getting a Pass Port. However, he is still intriged about doing a trip to Sandals so maybe as a second honeymoon in the future. We plan to have a fun four day stay. He already told me as a wedding present, he is going to pay for a dolphin adventure for that includes boat riding and scuba diving! I cannot wait. However, I think I am more excited that our wedding is next week Saturday, and we will be together on our honeymoon that following week.
I plan to bring pictures and talk about the wedding and the honeymon. More ideas and articles are going to brought to this site. Might not be right away, but I plan on to bring more interesting topics. Till next time!
The saying goes that there will always being a ray of sunshine through the darkest days or when one door closes another door opens. If those sayings are true, then I hope with my belief and my faith, that one door does open for me or there is a ray of sunshine in these dark days. There has been a lot happening. This week has been hell. It is hard for me to even figure out what is going to happen next. I know that with the current situation, it has give me the opportunity to do what I wanted to do. I just now have to get my behind in gear and do it.
I recently just lost my job. At first, I was upset about it. I have no insurance, no 401K, no paycheck coming in. What was I suppose to do? However, after talking it over with my fiance, he suggested that I start up one of my business. He wants me to do makeup reviews and such on another site. I am fine with that, but I also know the work and cost of doing a makeup review site. He believes I can use my current makeup and go from there. Sooner or later, I am going to have to start buying makeup. However, it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise. My second option is continue working with the webdesigning business. I know if I sit down and start the coding, I can produce a layout. I just don’t know if it will make the money I need to survive. My last option is my writing, even if my fiance doesn’t believe it will help at this moment. If I can become an author, I will accomplish my main goal after graduating college.
This week has been hell with other issues both on his side of the family and mine. However, I am hoping that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I need something to give me that boost to keep trying. Sooner or later, everything will start to fall into place. Keep praying for me for each prayer helps.